Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye
by Serendipity Cullen
Summary: How will Addison Montgomery handle hearing the news of the plane crash...and of Mark's condition? Please R&R!
1. Prologue - The Call

**Author's Note : It always bothered me that Addison didn't acknowledge Mark's death in Grey's Anatomy. I'm not sure if it was addressed in Private Practice, cause I'm only up to season 5 on NetFlix. I may continue this, or I may not...I guess it depends on the reception lol**

Prologue - The Call

Addison Montgomery clicked away on her laptop, sighing heavily as Jake leaned in and nuzzled her neck. "Mmmm, just ten more minutes," she groaned, closing her eyes. "I swear, ten more minutes and I'm all yours."

"You said that an hour ago," Jake whispered in her ear, nipping her lobe gently.

Addison giggled and jerked away from him. "I'm serious this time, honey! I need to get these charts finished before our vacation next week! You don't want me working during our vacation, do you?"

Jake paused, considering the thought. "No," he finally decided. "I want you all to myself during our vacation." He eased away from her, pulling his tshirt off as he walked away. "I'm going to take a shower."

Addison bit her lip, watching as he tossed his shirt to the ground, then started to unbutton his jeans. "You're evil!" she called after him, but smiled to herself. She shook the thoughts of her sexy-as-hell boyfriend from her mind and focused in on her charting. She _had_ to finish this up before they left for Hawaii next week.

It was the first vacation she had taken in years, so Addison was looking forward to it.

Addison frowned as her telephone rang-she had meant to turn off the ringer hours ago. She glanced over to the caller ID, shaking her head as SEATTLE, WA appeared on the screen. She wasn't about to get into _another_ discussion with Derek about Amelia. She had already told him to _talk_ to his sister. Stop using her as a go-between. Amelia already thought Derek hated her, and what she really needed was to know that her big brother cared about her. She didn't need his judgement, she needed his love, compassion, and understanding.

"You gonna get that?" Jake asked, appearing with a towel around his waist, his body glistening with water.

Addison sighed, looking to him hungrily. "No...it's probably Derek wanting an update on Amelia. I'll call him back later." She looked back to her computer screen. "Let the machine get it."

Jake shrugged and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

Addison's eyes followed him with desire, but she forced herself to look to her computer screen. She barely glanced to the machine as it beeped.

"Addison..." Derek's voice was choked up, raw emotion emanating through the speakers of her machine.

Addison was on her feet in a flash, snatching up the phone. "Derek?!" she asked frantically. "Derek, I'm here! What's wrong?"

Derek Shepherd squeezed his eyes shut. "Addison..." he spoke her name hoarsely, tears filling his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to force them away.

Addison was in full-on panic mode. In all the years she had known Derek, she had _never_ heard his voice sound this way. "Derek, what is it?!" she exclaimed, practically screaming at him. "Are you hurt?! Is Meredith okay?! What's going on?" He hadn't even sounded this bad when he confessed to being shot.

Derek took a deep breath. "It's...it's...Mark..."

Addison felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She collapsed onto the couch, her head spinning. Anxiety ran through her, her nerves on fire. "M-Mark," she whispered. "What...what happened t-to Mark?"

Derek bit his lip, pressing his back against the hospital bed. "Th-there was a pl-plane crash..."

A gasp caught in Addison's throat as her hand flew to her chest. "And Mark?" she whispered, dropping her forehead into her hand.

Derek gripped the railing of the bed. "You need to come," he said simply.

The phone fell from Addison's grip as the room spun again.


	2. Installment 1 - Moments In Love

Installment 1 - Moments in Love

Jake left the bedroom to see Addison sitting on the couch. Her face had blanched, her eyes were wide, and she was digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands. "Addie?" he asked, moving over to her. "What's wrong?" he sat beside her, taking her hands and prying them open.

Addison pressed her lips together, looking down and seeing the marks left in her palms. "That was Derek," she whispered. "His best friend M-Mark...he was in a plane crash...he's in intensive care..."

"Oh," Jake spoke softly, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Is he going to be okay?"

"They don't know," Addison whispered, tears brimming her eyes. She blinked them back quickly. "He's coded several times...they're not sure if he's going to make it..."

Jake's eyes moved over her, studying her intently. He had never seen Addison appear so out of sorts. There was something more to the story. "Do you know him?"

Addison looked over to Jake, hesitating before nodding slowly. "Y-yeah...he was in the wedding...he works at Seattle Grace...we-we worked together..."

Jake pursed his lips. "So, he was a friend of yours too?"

Addison dropped her gaze and closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn't begin to explain her history with Mark Sloan. How could she tell Jake that Mark was the ultimate reason for her divorce? How could she tell him that she'd called on Mark many a time to scratch an itch that only he could scratch? How could she tell him that Mark had made love to her in the very office that Jake stood in every day? Addison pulled her hand from Jake's reach gently. "Yeah...he was, is my friend."

Jake watched her for a moment, then stood. "I'll pack."

Addison blinked, then moved to her feet quickly. "Pack?" she asked.

"Yes," Jake stated, looking to her. "Would you like me to get us a flight as well?"

"A flight?" Addison asked, clearly confused. "Where are we going?"

Jake studied her. "You need to go to Seattle. You should be there for your friend. Plus, it sounds like Derek needs you." He cleared his throat. "I'd like to come with you...if that's okay."

Addison's eyes brimmed with tears. Jake was _such_ a good man. "Thank you," she whispered softly. She felt the guilt settle in on her as he smiled and went into the bedroom again. Addison dropped back onto the couch, her hands trembling as she shoved them between her knees. "Please don't let him die," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Please, _please_ don't let him die."

* * *

Two hours later Jake and Addison moved through the airport. All arrangements had been made-Violet, Sam, and Cooper were called and alerted that she would be taking an extended leave of absence due to a family emergency. Sam, of course, had given her the third degree. Once finding out that it was Mark, he promised to fly out in a few days to make sure things were okay.

Addison slowed her steps as they passed a coffee shop in the airport. Her mind roamed to one of the times she was here with Mark. . .

_"I'm serious," Addison spoke, taking a sip of her coffee._

_"You said that the last time," Mark smirked, setting his cup down and looking at her. _

_"I mean it this time," Addison replied, looking to him. "We can't keep doing this, Mark."_

_"I don't see why we can't," Mark smirked, turning on the charm. "It's obvious Derek has moved on, and it's just as obvious that you can't get over me."_

_Addison raised an eyebrow. "And you come every time I call," she pointed out. "So what does that say about you?"_

_"That I love you," Mark stated simply._

_"Oh, you do not," Addison frowned. Had he forgotten that she'd found him in bed with the maid before flying to Seattle?_

_"You love me too," Mark continued, as if she hadn't even spoken._

_"We do not love each other," Addison stated firmly. "We're simply two people who...who..."_

_"Have amazing sex," Mark finished with that classic grin of his._

_"Mmmm," Addison mused, her mind roaming. Mark definitely knew what he was doing when it came to the art of sex. And he truly made it an art. "Yeah, but no, we've got to stop this! You can't keep flying across the country for...a booty call," she whispered the last two words._

_Mark grinned wickedly. "If you'd just come home, we could have all the booty calls we wanted...no airfare needed."_

_"You know I can't do that," Addison replied, running her finger along the rim of her coffee cup. "Besides, I like it here."_

_"Why?" Mark frowned. "I've been here two days, and all it does is rain. Don't you get tired of the rain?"_

_"You kinda get used to it," Addison mused. The weather seemed to mirror her life. No matter how hard she tried to patch things with Derek, their marriage seemed to be doomed anyway. He wasn't willing to give up Meredith, and she couldn't seem to give up Mark. Neither man truly cared for her, and she knew it deep down in her core._

_"You should come back to New York, Addie," Mark pleaded, taking her hand. "We can start over."_

_Addison looked down to their joined hands. "Too much has happened," she spoke quietly, pulling her hand away._

_Mark cleared his throat and looked down. They rarely addressed the real reason they couldn't make it work as a couple. Things changed when Addison aborted his child. It was all her decision; she was the one who couldn't deal with having a baby that belonged to her husband's best friend. It didn't matter to her that Mark actually _wanted _the baby. He wanted them to be a family. That was the real reason he'd slept with the maid-to get back at her. "I can always get a job at Seattle Grace," he teased, feigning confidence._

_"Don't you dare," Addison smirked._

"Addie!"

Addison jarred, looking ahead as Jake stood, holding his hand out to her. "Sorry," she mumbled, hurrying over to him.

"Is everything okay?" Jake asked, concern filling his eyes.

"Yeah," Addison murmured, looking back to the table in the coffee shop. "I just thought I saw someone..." She shook her head, shaking away the memories. "Sorry."

Jake's eyes filled with compassion. Addison had never been good at hiding things. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, no matter how hard she tried to hide them. She hadn't been the same since Derek's phone call earlier in the day. He suspected there was something more to this Mark guy; an old boyfriend, perhaps. Someone she'd had a crush on, but never had the guts to pursue. Or, Mark could simply be the one that got away. Whatever he was, he had Addison shaken to her core. Her cool confidence was long gone, and she was visibly upset. Jake decided not to push her though; Addison needed time to sort through things before she talked to him about it. At least, he _hoped_ she would talk to him about it. He cleared his throat and wiggled his fingers at her. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly after Addison took his hand.

Addison opened her mouth to unload her torrid past with Mark, but she closed it quickly. She wasn't sure how Jake would react once he found out that she was the one who stepped out on her husband. She was the reason their marriage had ended. She and Mark were the ones who nearly crushed Derek. Addison took a shaky breath, a bead of sweat appearing on her brow. Jake had mentioned marriage once before...she was sure he'd feel differently once he found out she was a cheater. Jake didn't deserve to marry a cheater. "I-I think I'm just in sh-shock," Addison spoke softly, blinking several times as tears brimmed her eyes. "The shooting almost took Derek a couple of years ago...and now, a plane crash? That's crazy, right?"

Jake nodded, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "That only tells me one thing."

Addison raised her eyebrow. "What's that?"

"We're never moving to Seattle."

* * *

Two hours later Addison drummed her fingers on the arm rest anxiously. She was an hour away from landing, and for some reason, she couldn't be _still_. She had all these thoughts running through her mind like crazy. The miniature bottles of alcohol weren't helping calm her nerves either.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw a picture of Mark.

Addison thought she was over Mark. She hadn't even _seen_ Mark in several years. He was busy, she was busy, they were both busy. Sure, they kept in contact through emails and the occasional phone call, but... She shouldn't be so upset about this! She and Mark had allowed a space to open in their relationship, and they were barely acquaintances. Their history was dead and buried, and they treated each other more like colleagues than friends.

Maybe that was the problem.

Addison was filled with regret now. What if Mark died? What if he actually _died_? Stopped breathing. His heart stopped beating. His brain stopped firing. He stopped existing.

The thought nearly strangled Addison and made her bolt to her feet. "Ladies room," she choked out when Jake looked to her with worried eyes. Addison stumbled into the aisle and hurried towards the small bathroom, sliding the door closed and turning the knob quickly. She squeezed her eyes shut, gasping for air as she tried to steady herself.

Addison wiped at her eyes stubbornly, refusing to let the tears flow. No; she wasn't going to cry for Mark. Mark wasn't gone; he was still here. He was simply banged up from the crash, that's all. Her shaky hands gripped the sink as she took several slow, deep breaths. Addison looked to her reflection, her eyes puffy despite her numerous refusals to cry. "Why are you taking this so hard?" she asked herself.

Deep in her core, she knew why this was affecting her so strongly. She loved Mark; a part of her had always loved Mark. First, as her friend, then as her lover, and finally...just as Mark. He always held a special place in her heart. Even if they didn't talk on a daily basis, she still knew Mark was out there. Alive. He was probably making some nursing student incredibly uncomfortable by his sexual innuendos. Addison didn't know if she'd be able to handle it if Mark actually died.

Addison squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the thoughts from her mind. She wouldn't think about it anymore. Mark was at least alive now. He was being taken care of by the best doctors. They were giving him constant, round the clock care. He _would_ get through this. Determined, Addison opened her eyes and splashed some water on her face. "Ow," she frowned as she banged her elbow into the wall of the enclosed space. She rubbed her elbow, noticing the enclosed space for the first time. She rarely used the airline bathrooms; they made her claustrophobic. But one time...six years earlier...things hadn't been so bad...

_Mark closed his book, looking over to Addison for a minute. They were finally doing it-they were going on a vacation together. It had taken him a long time to convince her, but he'd finally convinced Addison that they should take some time away from New York, away from Seattle; just the two of them. Warm, sunny Florida. He couldn't wait to see her in a sexy bikini. He licked his lips and leaned over to her, nuzzling her neck as she scribbled on some papers._

_"Mmmm, stop that," Addison mused, closing her eyes and enjoying the attention for a minute, then shooing him. "I have to finish these follow-ups."_

_"They'll be here when we get back," Mark murmured, placing a kiss behind her ear._

_"No," Addison replied, "when we get back, I have to catch up on what I'm missing right now."_

_"There's more to life than work, Addie," Mark reasoned, reaching over and snapping the papers from her grasp. "I bet you can't even remember the last time you had a vacation."_

_Addison frowned, grasping for the papers, but Mark easily held them out of her reach. Giving up, she crossed her arms and contemplated his question. Honestly, she _couldn't_ remember the last time she had taken extended time off. "Okay, fine, you win," she snipped, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth._

_Mark stuffed the papers into his carry on and zipped it closed. "No more work until we're back in New York, okay?"_

_"Fine," Addison sighed, settling back in the seat. She opened her hand, looking to Mark expectantly._

_Mark reached over, running his finger along her palm lines. "Trust me, I'll make you forget all about those papers."_

_Addison swallowed hard, feeling the tingles run through her body. All Mark had to do was _look _at her and she forgot most things. She bit her lip, watching his finger send waves of fire through her. She coughed and looked away, trying to gain her composure._

_Mark smiled devilishly, watching her reaction to him. He leaned over to her, speaking lowly. "Are you a member of the mile-high club?"_

_Addison's mouth dropped and she jerked her gaze over to him. "Mark!" she hissed, looking around frantically as if someone had over-heard their conversation._

_Mark laughed and leaned in closer to her, locking his eyes with hers. "I'm serious."_

_Addison's mouth went dry as she got lost in those blue depths of his. "I-I haven't, I mean, I'm not," she stuttered, licking her lips and swallowing hard._

_Mark licked his lips in return. "Tell you what...I'm going to the bathroom, on the left. Count to five and come join me."_

_"Mark!" Addison exclaimed, her eyes widening as she watched him stand. "Mark!" Her mouth dropped as she watched him walk away, ignoring her. Addison bit her lip, looking in front of her. Was Mark _honestly_ expecting her to come join him in the bathroom? Those places were small and cramped and...gross! Addison bit her lip, the thrill over-ruling her sensible judgment. Seconds later she was calmly walking towards the back of the plane, smiling at a stewardess as she passed. Addison took a breath before knocking twice on the door._

_"I knew you'd take the bait," Mark grinned after sliding open the door and pulling her inside._

Addison shook her head before the thoughts could move on to the x-rated events of that day. She wiped the water from her cheeks, tossed the papertowel into the wastebasket, and took a deep breath. She was going to be fine. She could make it through this. She'd probably realize Derek was over-reacting once they reached Seattle anyway.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked for the hundredth time as Addison returned to her seat.

Addison looked to him with compassion. "I'm fine," she assured him, taking his hand and squeezing gently.

* * *

"Do you want to go straight to the hospital?" Jake asked as they retrieved their luggage.

"I do," Addison replied quietly, running her hand through her hair. The anxiety had been building in her since the plane landed in Seattle. She could try to convince herself that everything was going to be fine, but she was scared to death. "Unless you want to check in first?"

Jake shrugged. "I'm coming with you, so we can check in later."

Addison smiled faintly, but a part of her felt guilty. "Jake," she spoke, setting her luggage on the ground.

Jake looked to her and raised his eyebrow. "Yes?" Addison had that tone...that tone that signified she was about to drop a bomb on him. He took a deep breath. "What is it?"

Addison took a deep breath. "Mark is...was...Mark and I..." She sighed heavily. "Mark is the reason Derek and I divorced..." Addison watched as Jake slowly set down his suitcase. "I slept with Mark while I was married to Derek...Derek and I tried to make it work, but...there was too much damage..." She watched his face as the realization of what she was saying struck him. "Mark and I," she continued, figuring she might as well tell him all of it, "had a relationship after Derek left. I got pregnant...the last time I could get pregnant, obviously." She laughed bitterly at the irony. "I aborted the baby because I didn't want to have my husband's best friend's baby."

Jake swallowed hard. "Mark was Derek's best friend?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Addison whispered. "I'm a cheater...not only do I run from things when I get scared, but I'm a cheater too. That's why I haven't agreed to marry you yet..." She took a breath, watching his face for a reaction. "Thank you for coming with me, but...you don't really have to stay."

Jake held up his hand. "I'm processing," he stated, looking to the floor. "You hit me with all of that...you've gotta give me a minute to catch up."

Addison felt like time stopped all together. She watched as Jake's gaze remained on the floor as he rifled through everything she'd just said. No matter how it affected them...Jake deserved to know the truth. Jake was a good man. Addison's hand shook as she wrapped her fingers around the handle of her luggage. "I'll just go."

Jake caught her arm, stopping her. "I knew there was more to it," he started, holding her gaze. "I knew there had to be something more to make you so upset." He took a breath. "We all have a past, Addison. We all have done things we regret. You made a mistake. You cheated, but you're not a cheater. That act doesn't define who you are." He watched Addison's head drop as she gasped softly. "I am just sorry that you're worried for someone you loved."

Addison looked up to him, simply staring at him for a moment. "You're amazing," she whispered, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tight. "I love you so much."

Jake wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I know you do," he whispered in her ear, tangling his hand in her hair. "Thank you for telling me about your past...I know it was hard for you."

Addison put her cheek to his shoulder, a few tears escaping. "I just wanted to be honest," she whispered. "No secrets."

Jake rubbed her back, holding her close to him. "Are you going to be able to do this?" he asked when she finally eased away from him.

"I have to," Addison replied with a nod of determination. "If Mark dies...Derek is going to need me."

Jake nodded. "And you'll need me," he said simply.

* * *

"Nice place," Jake mused as he and Addison started up the sidewalk to Seattle Grace Mercy West. "How were you ever able to settle in LA after working here?"

"It took some adjusting," Addison smirked as she twined her fingers with his. She never forget thinking she'd made the _biggest_ mistake after transferring to LA. Especially after meeting Pete and his whole holistic medicine approach. She took a breath as they approached the front doors. "I can do this," she murmured to herself.

"Yes, you can," Jake encouraged, squeezing her hand gently. "Otherwise, you'll regret not doing it for the rest of your life."

Addison frowned at him. "Are you always right?"

"Usually," Jake grinned.

Addison squeezed his hand as she passed through the sliding glass doors of the hospital. Lord, this place had memories. Piles and piles and memories.

_Addison approached the nurse's station, squeezing through the interns crowded around the desk and peering ahead. "What is going on?" she frowned, managing to return the chart to the chart rack. "What are you all _doing_? Don't you have patients to check on?" She followed the gaze of the drooling interns, her eyes widening. "Oh my God."_

_Mark Sloan adjusted his lab coat and shook the hands of some of the other doctors as Chief Webber paraded him through the hospital like some sort of trophy. He glanced towards the group of gawking interns, doing a double take when he saw Addison standing there with her mouth agape. "Dr. Webber," he called, motioning the Chief over. "Thank you for giving me the tour, but I'm sure I can make my way around from here. I'm sure you have other things to do."_

_Dr. Webber nodded. "If you need any help, Dr. Sloan, you know where my office is."_

_Mark watched him leave before heading straight for Addison. "Dr. Montgomery," he greeted._

_Addison saw the eyes of the interns move to her. She cleared her throat and looked down a second before returning his gaze. "It's Dr. Montgomery Shepherd," she corrected, squaring her shoulders and walking away from the nurse's station._

_"My mistake," Mark called as he followed behind her._

_Addison spun on her heel, putting her hands to her hips. "What are you doing here?!" she hissed, glaring at him._

_"You wouldn't return my calls," Mark replied simply. "I thought I should come check on you."_

_"Like you did before?" Addison frowned._

_Mark grinned and straightened his lab coat again. "Yeah...but I thought I'd commit myself more to the part this time."_

_"Derek is going to kill you," Addison replied._

_"Derek's not concerned about me," Mark scoffed. "He's only concerned about the slutty intern. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can go back to New York." He looked around. "It still rains too much here."_

_Addison rubbed her temple. "I'm not going back to New York with you."_

_"Then I'm not leaving Seattle without you," Mark countered._

Addison cleared her head and pressed the button at the elevator. "He's in intensive care," she informed Jake quietly.

Jake squeezed her hand as the boarded the elevator. "I'm right here."

"Thank you," Addison whispered as the doors closed quietly. Her mind roamed at how many times she had entered this exact elevator. Most of those times she'd caught Derek with Meredith or Derek comparing her to satan. She smiled at the memory. She'd gone much too soft since joining Oceanside Wellness. "Here we go," she murmured as the doors slid opened and she held her head up.

Callie spotted her the moment she left the elevator. "Addison!" she exclaimed, running over and throwing her arms around her. "Oh my God, you came!"

"I came as soon as I heard," Addison started.

"He's awake!" Callie interrupted.

Addison's mouth dropped. "He's-he's _awake_?! But Derek said..."

"He was," Callie continued. "I mean, we thought he was a goner, but then, he just...woke up!"

Addison's brows knit together. "Do you think it's the..."

"Don't say the 's' word," Callie hissed, her gaze drifting over to Jake. "Who's this hottie?"

Jake chuckled. "Hello, I'm Jake Reilly. I work with Addison."

Addison cleared her throat. "Callie, this is my...boyfriend..."

Callie's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, this is _the_ Jake?" she asked, looking to Jake with a new admiration.

Jake grinned. "You've heard about me?"

"Let's not go there," Addison spoke, taking Jake's arm and walking towards the group clustered around one of the room doors.

"So, you've talked about me?" Jake teased. "Who was that, by the way?"

"That's Callie Torres," Addison replied. "She's in ortho, plus she's...Mark's gay baby mamma..."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Things are certainly different here."

Addison laughed and swatted his arm as Derek left the room. "I thought you said he wasn't going to make it."

"I thought he wasn't!" Derek exclaimed, hugging her gently. "Thanks for coming, Addie." His eyes flicked over Jake. "I haven't met you..."

"Jake Reilly," Jake replied, extending his hand.

"Derek Shepherd," Derek replied, studying him for a moment. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

Addison stood there wishing for a hole to swallow her. Where else would her ex-husband meet her current boyfriend while her ex-cheating-lover watched them all from a hospital bed? "Do you think he's surging?" she asked Derek quietly.

"No," Derek replied dryly. "He's Mark. He's a fighter." He looked down as his pager went off. "I've gotta go. Maybe we could catch a bite later." He grinned wickedly. "That would be fun."

"Go," Addison rolled her eyes, swatting his arm as he left. She shifted from foot to foot as she watched the others weave in and out of Mark's room, each one stopping to hug her and tell her how much they'd missed her. It felt nice to be back with these people.

"Hey, Addie!" Mark boomed from inside the room. "How long are you gonna stand out there?! Get your ass in here and see me!"

Addison bit her lip and glanced over to Jake. "You don't need my permission," he chuckled, putting his hand to her low back and ushering her towards the room. "I'll be right out here." Addison smiled when he placed a kiss to her cheek, then she took a deep breath. "Hey," she said quietly as she lingered in the doorway.

"You call that a greeting?" Mark teased, holding his arms out. "I almost died, and that's all I get?!"

Addison smiled softly and crossed over to his bed, leaning down and hugging him tightly. "I was so scared," she admitted, her eyes brimming with tears.

"It's okay," Mark soothed, rubbing his hand between her shoulder blades. "_I'm_ okay," he lied, feeling a tightening in his chest.

"What happened?" Addison asked quietly, moving to the chair at his bedside.

Mark's eyes grew distant as he looked down. "We were going to Boston...there was a plane crash..." He choked up, looking over to her. "Lexie...Lexie d-died..."

"Oh Mark," Addison spoke quietly, taking his hand. "I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry."

Mark nodded. "We weren't together...she-she told me she loved me...and I didn't...I didn't even say anything back."

Addison squeezed his hand, knowing that would weigh on him for the rest of his life. "She knew," she assured him.

"She didn't know," Mark replied, catching her gaze. "She didn't know."

"Yes, she did," Addison argued gently. "Everyone knew...it was written all over your face every time you looked at her."

Mark nodded, looking back to the bedspread. He kept quiet for several minutes, then cleared his throat. "So, is that your new guy out there?"

Addison smiled, laughing softly. "Yeah," she replied as she released his hand. "His name is Jake, and he's a fertility specialist."

Mark wiggled his eyebrows. "Has he been fertilizing anything lately?"

"Really, Mark?" Addison asked. "Really?"

Mark laughed, then coughed several times as that tightening in his chest returned. "I'm fine, I'm fine," he shrugged the fretting Addison away.

"Are you sure?" Addison asked, studying him intently.

"Yeah," Mark replied. "Hey," he spoke quietly, motioning her closer. "The nurses won't give me anything but those damn ice chips...would you get me a coke from the vending machine downstairs?"

"I don't think I should," Addison started.

"Please?" Mark asked, working those blue eyes of his.

Addison stared at him for a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine! But if you choke to death..."

"I'll be fine," Mark chuckled as she started towards the door. "Hey, Addie?"

"Yeah?" Addison asked, turning to face him with her hand on the doorframe.

"I love you," Mark spoke simply. "I've always loved you, and I always will love you..." He felt his chest tighten again. "I just wanted you to know that."

Addison smiled softly. What happened to Lexie must have made him realize how important it was to let people know that you care. "I love you too, Mark." She walked back over and hugged him again, placing a light kiss to his cheek. "And I always will."

Mark smiled as she pulled away. "Where's my coke?" he asked, his voice wavering.

"In a minute," Addison laughed, shaking her head and waving him off as she left the room. "You showed great restraint," she smirked and held her hand out to Jake.

"He had one more time," Jake grinned, "and then, hospital bed or not, I was gonna pound him." They laughed together as Addison led him down the hall. "Where are we going?"

"He wants a coke," Addison rolled her eyes as she moved towards the stairwell.

"Should he be drinking anything yet?" Jake asked as he followed her.

"Probably not," Addison frowned, "but he's my friend, so...I just can't help my self."

Jake chuckled as he followed her through the door and down the hall towards a vending machine. "He seems like an okay guy."

"That's only cause you're not a woman," Addison winked as she pulled a dollar bill from her wallet. "He'd hit on you _so_ hard."

Jake laughed, watching as she inserted the dollar and pushed the button on the machine. "I'm glad he's okay."

"Really?" Addison asked, kneeling and retrieving the canned drink. "Why?"

"You're happier now," Jake replied. "You were upset...and I don't like seeing you that way."

Addison sighed and wrapped her arms around him. "You're such a saint," she whispered, putting her forehead to his. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Jake whispered, catching her for a quick kiss.

Addison kissed him several more times before breaking away as a rush of hospital personnel ran past them. "Sometimes I miss this place," she mused, hearing the 'Code Blue' ring through the hospital.

"Would you want to move back?" Jake asked. "Once we're married..."

"Jake," Addison warned.

"I'm not giving up," Jake replied, taking her hand as they started back towards the stairwell. "We're meant to be together Addison, and as soon as you get comfortable with that, we're going to get married."

Addison took a breath, releasing it slowly. "You still want to marry a cheater?" she asked softly.

"It's one thing you've done," Jake countered as he opened the door for her and followed her up the stairs to intensive care.

Addison stopped, turning to face him. "I'll marry you," she said softly.

Jake studied her intently. "Did you just say..."

Addison nodded, tears coming to her eyes. "I'll marry you," she whispered, cupping his face and kissing him softly.

"I'm going to do it right," Jake promised moments later when they parted. "I'm going to ask you the right way."

"Okay," Addison laughed, kissing him again quickly before they continued up the stairs and onto the floor. Her brows furrowed as she saw a group gathered outside Mark's door. "What's going on?!" she demanded, hurrying over to join the group. Her eyes instantly fell on Callie's tear-streaked face.

"He _was _surging," Callie gulped through more tears. "He-he-he..."

"Spit it out, Torres!" Addison snapped, glancing through the glass into Mark's room.

"He's on life support," Callie whispered.

Jake caught Addison as she sagged against him. "Ssshhhh," he soothed, turning her and holding her against his chest as she cried. "I'm here, Addie, I'm here." He glanced over her shoulder, seeing Mark Sloan with a tube down his throat and several machines hooked up to him.


End file.
